Ok, yes… this is a few days late, but screw you.  I’ve been… uhhhh… sick, and this is the first time I could drag my ass to the computer and type.  I promise… it’s worth it!  Following is a string of texts I got on Sunday night while Crazy Uncle PaysteeWhite was watching the Oscars.  Hahahahaha.  Continue:

Gay, I mean happy, french dude just won Academy Award for best actor. He didn’t say one f-ckin word in his silent foreign ass movie……am I alone here?!?!?  That’s like a porn star not penetrating. That’s like an NBA player winning the MVP for most assist.

(a minute later) Correction….That’s like an NBA player winning the MVP and only having assists, no points all season.  It’s like Heath Ledger sober.  F-ck it, it’s like bullshit with diarrhea on top of shit.

(a little while later) Oh jesus f-cking H Christ it won best picture. Jesus f-cking god….oh jewish nazi ball brigade. I give up. I don’t understand America, or politics, or religion, or anything after this.

(Monday morning) In celebratory fashion of the Artist winning last night, I have yet to speak one word today and have punched 3 french people. Don’t know if they were actually french but they were smoking, drinking coffee, wearing black clothes and a scarf. And they smelled.