Well good friends of the White Glossy Underground Board… the time has come. Time for some fresh blood at the WGUB!!!!! We’ve been dropping his posts over the past week and asking for your input… and you have given it!

We heard great things like:

  • “I can tell he is hung like a dinosaur just from his writing”
  • “Does is suck that he’s a much better writer than all of you?”
  • “Your face looks like hamburger meat churned through an Asian prostitutes vagina”

… and much… much more. So, the “Yes’s” have it… and I now introduce to you all Arcade Danger!!!!! Awesomely fitting for our 1,600th post!!!

Eggshell, Paystee and I had a little round-table conversation on our last day as a threesome… to discuss a few things about our new hire. I hit record on the ole microphone… and here are a few things of interest that came up, and you should know about your new writer.

  1. His amazingly silky smooth calves make me question my sexuality
  2. He makes pretty good coffee and sushi rolls… which is expected considering his “kind”
  3. He’s wicked fast with reloading the office rubber-band gun… like a Boss.
  4. I don’t like his gay face.
  5. I can tell a d!ck has been all over that thing.
  6. He acts like he hangs out with Snooki and Spencer Pratt.
  7. We should kill him.
  8. He thinks we should feel bad cause he is in AA and we get bombed at the office. Screw his weak constitution.
  9. He looks like he ate all the fruit of the loom characters. Didn’t know one guy could be that lumpy.
  10. He has lower self-esteem then all the fat chicks he sleeps with.
  11. While during a “experimental” phase in college, he refused to do anal.
  12. His feet smell like vagina.
  13. He has an expensive watch… so he’s obviously gone down on a senior citizen.
  14. He drives a Hyundai. dude… who the F drives a Hyundai that hasn’t taken it in the @$$???
  15. He wore a pinky ring… until we took off his pinky.
  16. He can grow a Tom Selleck quality mustache.
  17. ArcadeDanger was an extra in the Top Gun volleyball scene

And there you have it. Welcome ArcadeDanger. Welcome!