Here at the WGUB, we spend countless hours of each day scouring the internet looking for new products, fun stories, and just general information that we find interesting enough to share with our fans. Yesterday, we ran across a letter to Dear Abby and it spurned a series of emails between two of our writers. Think you can come up with something funnier? Leave it in the comments and we will share with the world..
Eggshell:
This guy is a pansy….
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for five years. I recently discovered that she made between 10 and 20 porn videos when she was 19. We got married when she was 27. We have four kids from two previous marriages.I am devastated. When I confronted her about it, she cried harder than I had ever seen. She said she was lost, and it’s the biggest regret of her entire life.
I understand how hard it can be to tell someone you have done something like this. I haven’t led a perfect life either, and I have my own skeletons and things that I would never mention. But still, I can’t get over this. I have never felt pain like this in my entire life and don’t know what to do. I love my wife and don’t want a divorce, but it haunts my every thought. We have had a great life and I trust her completely. What should I do to get over this? — DEVASTATED IN THE U.S.A.
;
DEAR DEVASTATED: A giant step in the right direction would be to accept that you both had a history before you married each other, and you both have done things you aren’t proud of. Then make a list of all the good things you have together, and forgive your wife for making some painful mistakes in the past that she was too ashamed to tell you. It certainly beats divorcing a woman you love over something she can’t change. If that doesn’t work, then you’d be wise to seek marriage counseling.
WhiteGlossy:
Also… take that other man’s penis out of your butt you huge fag!!!!!! With that kind of experience she is probably rocking your world more than any other semi-virginal tight-legged chick who you barely snagged away from the monastery.
Eggshell:
Dear Abby…
I’ve always wondered why my wife could f*ck so good. I mean some of the positions she gets into blow my mind. I thought it might be a childhood spent in gymnastics, but then I found out she did porn. It all makes sense now. But I’m going to be a bitch and complain about it.
WhiteGlossy:
Dear Abby…
What is it like to screw a lifeless blow-up doll? How about a plank of wood? I ask because my wife is fricking amazeballs in the sack and I’m getting a little tired of it. Help!
Eggshell:
Dear Abby…
I am by no means large in the penis department. But my wife can totally take the whole thing in her mouth and still breath. She really doesn’t complain when I bust my nut on her face by mistake. She just shrugs, wipes it off, and goes and makes me dinner. She talks a lot about her issues with her father, but I never really put two and two together until this one time she asked me to poop on her chest. It was then I realized something was up and she might have done porn.
Whiteglossy:
Why isn’t Paystee in on this?
