Life is too short to listen to bad headphones – iSport by Monster Cable – The Athlete’s Headphone.

If you don’t like music, are not an athlete or sh!t your own pants…..stop reading now.  For those of you still with me clean yourself up and let me tell you about some bad ass headphones. Stop listening to your double disc Yanni with the crap that’s provided to you “in the box”.  And no I’m not talking about some 22 lb headset that a rapper has put out… but something for people on the move who can use and get the same sound quality.

To quote the most racially over looked cinematic achievement of my time White Men Can’t Jump– “Look man, you can listen to Jimi (Hendrix) but you can’t hear him. There’s a difference man. Just because you’re listening to him doesn’t mean you’re hearing him.“—Sidney Dean (Pre-IRS imprisonment Wesley Snipes.)  That’s how I feel about all you people not listening to your music with iSport’s “Immersion” Blue  in-ear headphones with Control Talk by Monster ($180).  You can listen to Color Me Badd but you don’t understand why they wanna sex you up.  What the hell was up with that group?  They had the latin George Michael creeper, Kenny G’s down-syndromed cousin, token deep voiced brother and the lead singer is now a fat dude who works at a tire store. Family Guy moment…back to iSport.

Just the presentation itself with these bad boys is reason enough to know putting these on raises your swag 4 levels. I was expecting to open the box and find gold bars with its leather casing. No gold bars but I was close.  24K Gold-plated contacts involved with the wiring.  And what other company includes a publication of “the Physiology of the Ear and Hearing“?

They offer 5 different sizes of “eartips” and “ear hooks/patented SportClip” ranging from extra small to extra-large.  This is vital to size correctly as I became aware of and as they warn you of several times in the instructions.  Yeah these earphones need instructions, I told you swag.  When you place into your ear canal the “ear pipe” will swivel comfortably into place and make sure the sizes fit! I put on the X small ear tip and X small ear hook  (I have little ears, big shoes) which curves  around your canal to lock into place. I called Eggshell and said these things are over-rated, nothing spectacular.  I didn’t want to believe it, no way could this be true with the elaborate set up it came in.  So I changed the size to medium and quickly understood what all the hype is about.  I’m hearing Jimmy now.  It truly sounds like I have two 12″ woofers in my ears.  But once they’re set in they’re good to go.  More music, less noise.

Aside from the BOOM BOOM BOOM and clear sound, these have several features including waterproof.  Waterproof? I don’t run underwater but I do enjoy the Jaws’ theme while swimming.  It notes great for surfing and jet skiing.  So your headphones are solid in the water but what the hell do you do with your MP3 device? (Until you send us something Opposite of Orange you are nameless to me!)  I guess my excessive sweating and public urination is a worry so waterproof is another cool feature.  The cord is lightweight and doesn’t get tangled which is huge while exercising/running.  I’ve nearly pinched a nipple off with prior cords.  No more having to undo the boy scout knot each time I head out is a major plus.  I have a pair from Skull Candy and the sound is great but the cord feels like an anchor bouncing on my chest so they didn’t have exercise in mind like these do. The ControlTalk is marvelous for both phone and music use positioned just under the left ear piece.  I put to use in a 5k over the weekend and it was great to skip songs and control volume as I glided my way to a blazing 15th out of 16 geriatric amputees.  It also allows you to easily switch between listening to music and talking on the phone to avoid anybody and everybody.

And after the run…..I washed them.  On the realeez….like I said waterproof, mostly urine, I just threw them in the wash with my neighbor’s panties I stole.  Took them out, put them on, seductively looked at myself in the mirror, then took the headphones out and put them on too.  They still work.

Monster you’re legit….the iSport’s are the best headphones in my ears and on the market.  Word.

Click on a few of the pics below for a larger view: