You know what’s better than Scotch? Nothing.
Nothing is better than Scotch. Scotchy scotchy scotch. Nothing is better than Scotch. Except a tan, veiny, girthy penis. If you’re gay. But I’m not so I’d rather have scotch. Why would I even think of that when I’m not gay? My Uncle touched me.
Few ice cubes, Schweppes ginger ale… num numbs!
