Sooooo…. still bored off your GD rocker?  Thinking of things that could quite possibly get you either arrested or given the key to the city for doing?  Trying not to stuff that week old homemade candy up your nose to see if your brain has a sweet tooth?  Attempting to look like your busy at your desk on work related goods but actually making a new friend out of paperclips and used staples?  Cool.

Me… what am I doing?  Other than typing answers to questions you’re not asking as if you’re really sitting across the room from me having a conversation?  Earlier today I ran over a bum in the road to see if he would go under the car or bounce off and into the gutter.  Right now… I’m tossing my friends Otterboxed iPhone 4 against the wall with slightly increased strength each time to see just how much damage it takes to break.  Later I’m thinking about snorting finely crushed coffee beans and/or smoking that stuff diapers are filled with.

A couple of ideas for you… find a good friend and start a conversation.  Then, for no reason, begin replying to everything they say with absolute randomness.  They ask “how was your day”  you answer “Barbed wire was invented for mass use in 1968“… “I’ve never used barbed wire before but thanks” your answer “I found a baby bird floating in a bird feeder when I was 6“… “What does that mean” your answer “Clouds are said to be moisture particles agitating together at a rapid speed to create rain… it’s really angel jizz“.  

Also, a funny thing to do is send an email to your friend… CC’ing many other people, in the Subject Line write “RE: The Truth Hurts” and type “It really doesn’t matter how many times your almost arrested for having copious amounts of bestiality videos on your work computer… if you don’t stop mounting the neighbors goat you’re going to get some serious jail time.  Also, for the last time… NO!!!  I do not want to do blow with you in your Grandma’s basement?

If none of that tickles your fancy… then do what you were already going to do and drink yet another cup of coffee and check your facebook one more time.  Lame.