What could currently take place that would be the biggest news story to ever hit this world in all of its existence?  World War III?  Terrorist attack on the Statue of Liberty, the Hollywood sign and Oprah?!  Capturing Bigfoot?!  Jesus’ return?!  Not even close f#ckers.  Just imagine if the media were to unveil that Zac Effron and Ryan Reynolds have been having an affair and that is the reason for their recent breakups!!!  Yeah, I just sharted and my heart is in my groin too!  God Bless America.