I always wonder, when standing at the urinal, why my feet are sticking to the floor?  Is it a sticky soap cleansing product?  Jelly?  Semen?  Maybe a mixture of all 3, which is not weird in a public inner city restroom near a bus stop.

So I did as most curious, patriotic red blooded Americans would do and tested it.  I had an unwilling volunteer provide a sample of stool an semen.  I then sprinkled jelly, Crisco and Zest to the concoction.  What happened after that I really can’t divulge.  No really…I can’t divulge because I don’t remember.  I was super coked out.  Last thing I remember was holding the gun to the homeless guy’s head and forcing him to poop, eating a PB&J while jerking him off.   What the hell was I talking about? Merry Christmas to all vampires.