PaysteeWhite Traveled to an old friends wedding this weekend… here are the texts that ensued:

Paystee White – Holy snap….100 asian people at this wedding. The 1 white couple, us, and the 1 black couple, Winzell Johnson and +1, at the same table. We’re a freak show, they’re taking pics of us.

WhiteGlossy – Your skin… Winzell’s teeth, are you guys the disco-ball?

PW – That’s good sh!t

WG – Now your table knows what they feel like anywhere other than Irvine, Disneyland, any Cal Univ or Pearl Harbor (in a plane… Killing “wide-eyes”)
WG – You could bomb that room and decimate the SoCal dental, acupuncture and gyno society.
WG – Slogan for the wedding: Why go to Chinatown when you can bring Chinatown to you?!
PW – Its like I’m at Disneyland.
WG – It’s like you’re at Disneyland, during an Acupuncture convention, on the Chinese New Year. Oh, and white people don’t exist.
PW – I’m the biggest person here. I’m about to yell GODZILLAAAA!!!!!!
PW – This ceremony is sponsored by Hello Kitty
WG – Is the bicycle and rickshaw parade after the ceremony, or was it before?
PW – Don’t know whether people are guests or photographers of the wedding.
PW – God I want walnut shrimp.
WG – Hahahaha…. Chinese wedding and they’re serving roast beef and grilled chicken
WG – Question of the night…. Forks or chopsticks?
WG – It’s 5:30…. Saaaaakkkkkiiiiii bbbboooommmmbbbbssss!!!!!!!!!!
PW – No shit, chopstix
WG – Soooo when the Married couple is leaving for their honey moon…. would they prefer white or brown rice?
WG – If they have fortune cookies with something about the happy couple in it I’ll but a firework in my mouth!
WG – I imagine rickshaw rides to your car… cousins Pao & Pio reciting “Karate Kid” word for word (Machio not Smith)… Russian roulette off in the dark corner of the room… Bad karaoke on the main stage and the strange aroma of sweat, human bones & fried eggs wafting out of the kitchen.
about 4 hours later…
WG – Aren’t you glad I just woke you up from that crazy nightmare?!?! Yes, you’re still Paystee… But no, you’re not a pot sticker being eaten by a giant Asian pediatrist. You’re welcome.