The newest writer to our staff of hooligans… PaysteeWhite!!!!!  (insert crowd cheers here)

We’ve decided to ask him a few questions, interview style, so you can get to know him a little better.  Hold on to your horses WGUBers, this guy is gonna crack you up!

The four names you go by:

1. Jesus

2. Big Ole’ D!ck McGee

3. The Throat Plumber

4.  Uncle Pastie

Three things you are wearing right now:

1. A bum’s skin

2.  strategically placed eye patch

3.  mustard

Three things you want very badly at the moment:

1.   Someone who will tell me their life story in full detail of trials and tribulations and triumph

2.   someone to make these gay thoughts get out of my head…and bed

3.   A giant Cheez-It

Two people you are certain who will answer this if forwarded

1.   Not the dead bum

2.  The little chinese kid from Indiana Jones

Three things you did last night:

1. Definitely farted at some point in my sleep

2. Definitely sh!t at some point in my sleep

3. Slept in shit

Two things you ate today:

1   Swallowed my pride

2.  six 50/50 bars

Two people you talked to on the phone today:

1.   Jesus… I checked my voicemail

2.   My bookie

Two things you are going to do tomorrow:

1.   Masturbate

2.   Cry

Your favorite beverages:

1.  Turkey sandwich

2.  Mike’s Hard Lemonade

Your favorite Color:

Sexy

Your favorite ice-cream flavor:

ChocillaBerry