… and what would a 3-day weekend be without the joy of late-night drunk texts from every-bodies favorite Crazy Uncle PaysteeWhite!!!

  1. Few rules I have in life: I never will go to a dentist with no teeth, a barber with no hair or an OBGYN with no vagina.  Oh yeah… and I always poop naked.
  2. I inspired to be a hand model but now just give hand jobs to models.
  3. Would you rather lick a stripper pole or a hotel comforter?  I concur.  Both will suffice.
  4. Would you rather eat out Octomom or Spencer Pratt’s beard?