Agent White here with your fearless predictions which are guaranteed to make you look smart when you are watching the games this weekend with your fellow fantasy football nerds.(Disclaimer: This is not an actual guarantee.) I’m filling in for EggShell cause he is off chasing zombies and frankly can’t seem to pick football games. He was 8-6 last week. I know I can do better.
Tampa Bay at Atlanta: Tampa Bay’s much improved, but the Falcons play too well at home for the Bucs to overcome. Blount is overhyped except for when it comes to his right cross. Falcons 34, Bucs 20.
Chicago at Buffalo: Buffalo has to win sooner or later (don’t they?), but it won’t be this week after two consecutive weeks of heart-breaking losses. Chicago has had a bye week to fix their problems. Bears 27, Bills 23.
New England at Cleveland: Who will play QB for the Browns? Does it matter? No. Patriots 38, Browns 13 (mercy points).
New York Jets at Detroit: Upset special here. Jets offense is struggling, Lions offense is clicking. There is something to be said about being angry. Also, nothing like playing the Lions (historically) to cure your team’s problems. Jets 31, Lions 23
Arizona at Minnesota: Similar to the Jets’ situation noted above, there is nothing like playing the Cardinals at your home to cure your team’s problems, “we’re looking at you, Jared Allen”. Hey Cardinals, you are giving new meaning to “QB Carousel.” Vikings 38, Cardinals 6.
New Orleans at Carolina: The Saints remembered how to win last week against the Steelers. I don’t think they’ll forget against the sad, sad, Panthers, and their quarterback….um…who is it again? Saints 30, Panthers 20.
Miami at Baltimore: Something’s got to give in this one. The Dolphins have struggled against well-balanced offenses. I look for the Ravens to pull this one out as they have had plenty of time to prepare for this game. On a side note, there is a debate going on as to whether or not Flacco is an “elite QB” at this point. An elite QB should carry his team in a game like this. Ravens 27, Dolphins 26.
San Diego at Houston: Was last week the beginning of the Chargers’ mid-season awakening? Was last week the beginning of the Texans’ mid-season choke? This game will give an indication. Chargers 38, Texans 33.
New York Giants at Seattle: The NFC’s hottest team comes to one of the historically tough home stadiums in the NFL. (At least, that’s what they think in the Northwest.) The Seahawks are overmatched on both sides of the ball if the Giants decide to show up, as they usually do on the road. Giants 28, Seahawks 16.
Kansas City at Oakland: This is a very tough one to pick. The Raiders have had it easy the last two weeks via big plays in every phase of the game. The Chiefs have not been allowing big plays and have shown a good run defense. Chiefs 17, Raiders 16.
Indianapolis at Philadelphia: Will this be the return of Vick? If so, which Vick will it be? The Colts look like they are playing as a team again, and that is bad news for the rest of the league. Colts 27, Eagles 24.
Dallas at Green Bay: Hey Cowboys, it will probably be cold in Green Bay on Sunday, maybe you should just stay home. Packers 38, Cowboys 16. (Jerry Jones reconsiders the mid-season firing of Wade Phillips, but doesn’t pull the trigger.)
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati: Whatever happened to the Cardiac Cats? You never know with these Bengals, but I don’t see them putting up points on the mighty Steelers defense as long as Polamalu is playing. Steelers 23, Bengals 9.
There you have it folks. We’ll check in on Tuesday to give you all the excuses for our poor predictions.
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