“In 2011 I will attempt to pay the skanks off prior to sex.” – Tiger Woods
“This year I will not be governor.” -Arnold Schwartenhoweverthef*ckyouspellit
“In 2011 I promise to extend my deterioration of this great nation and put more family’s on the streets.” -The Economy
“This year I will send more picture texts.” -Brett Favre
“In 2011 I promise to keep my hands to myself except for when placing this shotgun in my mouth.”- Chris Brown
“My new year’s resolution is to be the highest ranked globally naked player at Michael Jackson’s The Experience on Wii. Ah Shamoni!!”- Pastee
