So… it’s was a beautifully long holiday weekend with good friends, amazeballs weather and drinks. Lots and lots and lots and lots of drinks. Which, of course, means my days and nights were full of joyful texts full of crazy from everyone’s favorite Uncle Paystee White. This time with a little help from EggshellWhite!! Enjoy:
Paystee: How could Bud Light make something so gross? Yuck on Platinum.
Eggshell: I just heard that Tyler Perry is attending Whitney Houston’s funeral. Damn is there anything black that guy won’t produce? Tyler Perry presents. “Death of a black woman.”
Pasytee: This summer a story about Jauquim who finds himself in a turbulent situation when his 3rd cousin, a famous singer, passes on and he’s left with the hilarious family hi-jenks!!! It’s the “Stiff Bodyguard!” Created, produced, written, directed, choreographed, catered by Tyler Perry.
Eggshell: The new Jersey governor will fly the flags at half-staff for a crack head. But veto gay marriage.
Pasytee: They’re broadcasting Whitney’s funeral on the radio. If Whitney ain’t singing I ain’t listening. Wouldn’t that be some shit if Whitney started singing.
After his cousin Lunch Sack is released from prison, Leroy hits the lottery. The weed lottery that is! Get ready for Tyler Perry’s “Sticky Icky Icky!”
The only way to fulfill his life long dream of becoming the lead drum major lies in the hands of his white girlfriend’s father. Tyler Perry invites you through this journey of inter racial love, bald heads and drum beats in “Turn Dat Mess Off!”
I drink every single night bro. Not bragging, actually f@cking worried
Hey guess what guys……Sat night and, again, I’m cleaning piss off the couch.
I hope you go f@ck yourselves.
The Platinum in Bud Light Platinum is Russian for Horse Ass Jizz.
