It’s difficult to find a job out there… this is a sad fact which we all are unfortunately aware of.  The White Glossy Underground Board is here for you now and we want to help.  We asked our newest writer PaysteeWhite to dig up his resume from just before “working” here.  We figured if anybody could help… he could!

So, simply open up your Word software… click “Create new”… copy and past the below… and watch the job offer come rolling in!!!  We’ll just go ahead and say congrats on the new job now.

Tre Singlez…..up in dis bitch

187 South Street apt #212

Wess Coast Reppin Cali

(knock on the screen door and ask my Uncle Ray-Ray to page me)

Objective: To obtain the status of a bad bad man, most splendeverous balla of ‘dees streets….ya heard.  Oh yeah…and to keep my pimp hand strong.


1991-1997-Home school with Uncle Junebug. (He’s got his own refrigerator in his ole’ lady’s apartment)

1998-1998 ½: Sandwich Art School at Subway. Not the Subway you know, actual L Train on 4th and Jenkins.

1998 ½-2001-Just chilled. Took time off from skool for myself and to help with my sister’s baby.

2001-2003-Harvard Law School, graduated Magna Cum Laude. Masters in Law and Aero Space Engineering Anthropologic Balemic Techtronic Phaser Adendum

Related Course Work:

Ghost ridin’ the whip.


I ain’t getting’ on no boat. I don’t care how much this job pays I gets sea sick.

Work Experience:

Subway 1998-1998 ½

  • Artistically developed a harvest of essential nutrients to existing clientele
  • Hooked only the tightest of homies up with free double meat
  • I would recommend to never eat bologna from Subway…… when a customer would be frontin…I would chew the bologna up and drop it back onto the sandwich straight from my mouf.

Leon’s Traveling Balloon Circus 1997-1997 (one Saturday son!)

*Shit was wack…..Leon was a punk man.  I made balloon animals and he tried to pay me on commission!! What little kid do you know tips the balloon makin’ clown at their parties? I got the pony high.

Lids 1997-1997

I stole a bunch of shit.  Name a color Yankee hat and I betchu I gots it.

Computer Skillz

Got a mad myspace page with a bunch of honies on it son!!!!$$$$-Nutzinyomouthfolife.&^%# Check out the picture of Meningitis and her twin Laryngitis eating a pickle at the roller rink.

I would greatly appreciate your consideration with any immediate openings within your organization.  I’m out bitches.