Laid-off, Downsized, Fired or Cut-Loose… it all means the same thing.  It all means you’re sitting at home, barely making a living (off of the government), going a little crazy and hangin around all day with a shotgun in your mouth praying that Kathy Lee Gifford would just shut the hell up!  You my friend are unemployed.  Chin up though… just because you’re unemployed doesn’t mean you’re unemployable!!  If you need help with your resume check out an old link HERE.  Looking for a new place to call home, check out HERE

However, if you want a few ideas to help keep from completely becoming unhinged outside of reality… Paystee, Eggshell & I want to remind you that since you’re now unemployed:

  1. Shitting yourself was never more convenient
  2. Crying as loud as you want while masturbating
  3. 24/7 fuzzy slippers
  4. Naked Mondays…Tuesdays…Ah hell…You get the point.
  5. COD Dominance! 
  6. Getting to call your occupation…”Homemaker” on your resume. 
  7. Watching Mr. Mom for the 50th time, while eying the Dyson carefully.
  8. The cheese
  9. pregnant hookers in the unemployment line
  10. Wanting so bad to drink with others but they’re working
  11. Fighting bums for food

Embrace your new-found freedom WGUBer… and come back to visit us often!