Too dumb for a hi-tech security system?  Too poor to regularly pay your electricity bill on time, and afraid of losing your security system?  Barely literate enough to read this post?  Well then this post may actually serve two purposes… letting you wonderfully honest Americans know of a great new low-tech security device for your homes/offices/cubicles/cars.  Or updating you bottom feeding low-life scum burglars of what’s new out there to watch out for (PS… just because society hates you doesn’t mean we do, hope you keep reading).

Introducing the Bed Bunker Burglar Blaster ($600, and yes I said it 5 times fast… suck it!).  An insane little self-contained, battery operated, Pepper spray squirting unit that can cover an area up to 2,000 square feet.  Made by the people at the Heracles Research Corporation (yeah, I’ve never heard of them either), this lil’ Beaut can be installed in “minutes” with absolutely no electrical experience.  Here are a few key points from their site:

Burglar Blaster Features:

  • Needs no external wiring and is not affected by power outages.
  • Operates up to 4 years on a set of “C” cells.
  • Can be reloaded in seconds without tools.
  • Includes both a key switch and a concealed manually-activated on/off switch.
  • 0-40 seconds entry time delay, easily set by owner with nondirectional, high pitched warning tone to remind forgetful owners to switch the unit off. Impossible for intruders to trace the sound to it’s source.
  • Battery test circuit
  • Housed in a high – strength, cast aluminum/ alloy case. Compact and unobtrusive, can be painted to blend into any setting.
  • Includes 90 second exit time delay.
  • Will operate any number of Repulsar units as accessories. (wiring required)
  • Includes 12V output for options and accessories
  • Includes automatic reset.

My Final Word: seems a bit pricey for a small security system that will likely kick your ass too if you were to ever forget about it, or not get to it in time for disengageing.